Go out, have a nice date
I'm your babysitter
I'll do crafts with your kid
Using crayons and glitter
But before we get to that
No I won't wait till later
I'm about to rummage through your refrigerator

I'm not bad, I'm just hungry and poor
And you've got a pantry I can't wait to explore
All I keep in my apartment is booze
So I go through yours looking for Doritos
and Dunk-a-Roos

It's a Shark Attack
As soon as you turn your back
We'll raid your snacks until we have full backpacks
We could find a Mike & Ike in a haystack
Babysitters, musicians on the road
We'll eat the shit out of your humble abode
We're worse than a Guy Fieri episode

Fruit-by-the-foot, string cheese, pre-packaged on-the-go
Feeling a little cozy
Cause we turned up your heat, yo
Yeah outside that's real snow

I'm not a thief
You said 'What's mine belongs to you'
So I'mma take a hot shower
And use your spensy shampoo
We've stuffed our suitcases til they're busting at the seam
Now you're out of TP
So I sure hope your towels are clean

Cause it's a Shark Attack
As soon as you hit the sack
We'll raid your snacks until we have full backpacks
We can't wait to find your Gushers and a Fun Dip pack
Babysitters, musicians on the road
We'll eat the shit out of your humble abode
Get ready for a high fructose corn syrup overload

Yea, it's a Shark Attack
Kitchen wreckage worse than Iraq
Our mission's done and now we have full backpacks
We left a crusty pot in the sink of cheese and mac
And since we found your Fritos and bean dip
Don't stand downstream
That fart might turn into shit
And we know you don't have any more toilet paper