Sitting alone here waiting
in my old hometown
On this Christmas Eve in my new
holiday gown
In walk my friends finally
it's the good ol gang
Wait hell no
My late twenties just shot me with a gun- bang
All of my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this Christmas
All my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this year
Ooooo oooooo ooooo
Merry Christmas
What could have possibly happened
to get those pancake batter knees?
And buddy, it looks like you've been stung by
a trillion bees
No you don't need lap band
But maybe try a tad more healthy
You got next round? Whoa-
I think that's some gravy stuck in your goatee
All of my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this Christmas
All my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this year
All of my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this Christmas
All my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this year
I know you just had a baby
but how is all that still baby weight?
No doubt you always clean your plate
Oh, there's a pringle in your boob crease
You used to have a metabolism
In high school you could eat anything
But now you must've eaten a whole Burger King
So now we sing
We can't help but sing
All of my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this Christmas
All my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this year
All of my friends, ah-all my friends
All of em got fat this Christmas
All of my friends got fat!
