This is actually a posting we found on Craigslist. A guy named Tad was trying to locate a girl that he had had an interesting date with, and the title of the post was "To the woman who crapped in my car." We were beyond intrigued. So we decided to write a chorus to tie everything together and just use Tad's original words as the verses...because c'mon, this deserved to be a song. Thanks Tad.
lyrics
We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you. At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me.” was meant to be funny, not offensive.
At some point everyone has gambled on a fart
And sometimes
You lose that bet
And your pants get all wet
It's always embarrassing whether you're in a coffee shop or a club
But it's a much harsher fate
When you're on a first date
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it “gambling.” I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat. What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract. I await your call, Tad. P.S. If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early...touche.
At some point everyone has gambled on a fart
And sometimes
You lose that bet
And your pants get all wet
It's always embarrassing whether you're in a coffee shop or in a club
But it's a much harsher fate
When you're on a first date
When you fart on a date
